"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
