Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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