People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
