Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
