I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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