I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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