We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The ass gains better be worth it
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