come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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