I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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