i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
