so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so let's talk penis.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
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