I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
