She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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