Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
