also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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