I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
