guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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