Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
4 words: hood of his car
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
