Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
