your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's the barista slut.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
