Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
