STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
