you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
