I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
