called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Randomize
