GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
