whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
