i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
and you fell through a lawn chair
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
