So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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