barbara walters just said penis...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
