she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
