come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just had sex on a roof
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