ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
