Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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