You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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