Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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