shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
