You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
