I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
