How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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