he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
