So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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