if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
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