weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
