watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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