What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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