do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
