Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
