Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
