Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
A+ Viking dick
FUCK WHALES
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
