some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
