covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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