At least make sure they are 18
Why
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
