I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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