Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
