I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
