we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The struggles of a small town man whore
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize