your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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