sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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