i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
