Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
