the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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