My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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