I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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