last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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