Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
